The Day The World Turned into Nice People...and Tools

Hello dear viewers.

 I have returned to blogging after what appears to be a while. With life, rain, arrogance and #TheGirlBehindTheFace, things have been a bit well, busy!

First things first, my darling PapaRef and MamaRef have launched a website called thegirlbehindtheface.weebly.com

We'd absolutely love if you could take a teensy peek at it and let us know what you think. It's purple, we like purple and there's a link on it called Mui's corner,which should in turn link you to the very website you're viewing now. HELLO NEW PEOPLE! 

Once again social media has played a big (humongous) part in raising awareness. There was a certain group, mentioning no names because name-calling is bad, who were actually quite vicious towards my family and the way we have chosen to live our lives. I commented (through MamaRef's Facebook, no I did not frape her. PapaRef and I stayed up quite late one night to write this together, bonding times, I tell ya!) on the post myself and this is what I had to say. Because if one thing is super clear, I don't take kindly to people who upset my family. I really don't. I'd like to share what I wrote below and I think you'll get the gist of what happened. 

 

"Though it may seem naive that people think I don't see what's been written on social media, I do. And I get screenshots over WhatsApp. And because of The Girl Behind The Face, my family and I have been trawling through Social media in search of groups who may be interested in our story. Interested...or jealous?!

Sparing no details about the fore mentioned group, I thought I'd share some thought on my life. It's dull, but I've figured you'd want to know anyway. Sharing is caring!

I am 22 and a half years old so I am actually an adult with a full time job. Yeah, I had to listen to my folks when they told me I wasn't going to sit around doing nothing all day! 

 This book has been written only since I became an adult with my full agreement and I'm perfectly fine with everything that's been written  and I've also contributed to it myself and shared our website myself. I would think that by me contributing to the book, it means I approve of the book being written. Some think else what. 

Anyways I am very grateful to be adopted because if I wasn't, I would definitely not have the life I  have  and I think that I would not be alive either. The HK Social Welfare department thought I was a lost cause and needed to be shielded away. My parents didn't let that happen thankfully. I think it's okay to be grateful for what you have in life. My parents haven't ever forced that upon me. Gratefulness is something I came to appreciate myself. 

Being adopted is akin to being given a second chance in life. And that is something to appreciate. It's too bad that some people are too hung up on issues to embrace that.

Please take a look our Girl Behind The Face Facebook page and you might understand why I am so grateful. By the way, my mum is also pretty much an adoptee as well. I come from a family where adoption is a big pointer. You'll have to read our book to understand that. 

Because some have been complete tools about our descent into the media, I'm trying to stay calm and collected. It's not easy but social media and publicity dictates that we have to act a certain way. Just saying, we only wrote our book as a result of cyberbullies making me want to commit suicide so quite frankly, I'm offended by all of the assumptions, including that we are only "posting to sell a book" or I'm "too young to understand what's going on"

We do school talks and motivational talks. We did a TEDx talk together. We got a standing ovation. Can you say you have? The purpose of our talks is to raise awareness of visible and invisible differences and cyber bullying as well as helping others. Because my parents never thought of adopting and did so anyway. That's why it's cool that mine was an unexpected adoption. It's the same with an unexpected pregnancy, you can choose to dread it or embrace it. 

Please check out our website and click "like" on our Facebook page as well :-). I also run a blog of my own called The IchthyRef. Because my parents have always helped me focus on the good points in life. You won't find too many rants or such like in my little corner of CyberSpace. You'll find a regular blog about a regular woman of 22 who lives her life and just so happens to have a skin disorder called Harlequin Ichthyosis...and manages to smile and post too many food pics and selfies on Instagram."

 (You're here by the way!)

Now, this made me upset and irritated. I don't feel like I have to explain my adoption. Why should I?! 

Life has been pretty cool thus far. Work has been going pretty swell and I've bagged myself a full time position as opposed to being part time for the best part of the last four years. I'm still in the same company and working at The Rock Foundation has hopefully made me a better person. I work in both teaching as well as media (video-making, photos, hanging on Our Facebook page, etc). I'm grateful for the opportunities that working here has afforded me. Initially I was reluctant about working in special needs but my parents, having had a bit of a sorry time in secondary school, made me get off my backside and made me volunteer. I begrudgingly did so. And I made it into full time...THANKS MUMMY AND DADDY !(yes I still call my parents that...cuteness!)

I also feel like my body is being super good to me right now. After a bit of a saga with my blood test results, I now take vitamin D supplements as well as blood boosters as well as my neotigason. Now mix those together and you have a pretty potent combination if you ain't got ichthyosis. The neotigason is essentially vitamin A. I don't get enough of it. And it makes my skin growth slow down a bit and it's definitely easier to control my bath as the scales don't grow quite so rapidly. The vitamin D is doing me good as well. Builds up my immunity and I swear I've grown a bit more and my hair is literally growing faster and thicker, or maybe that's due to my diet....I'll have to check with my amazing doctor about that!

Speaking of which, I've switched my eating habits slightly and I think that's really helped with my energy levels and skin. Basically, I'm trying to eat more "clean" and by that, as little crap as possible. I've cut out a large amount of carbs as quite frankly, they wear me out. So that's rice out, pasta still in, potatoes and bread are 50/50. I've also found that cutting lactose out more has helped in that I feel less bloated and gunky. But fear not, I have switched to nut and soy milks to get my calcium and oh my god, Kale Chips, light of my life, those sweet things are what I call heaven. Though of course my darling colleague thought they were vile. I can tell he doesn't do wacky health food like I do! Basically, cutting out a large chunk of processed food has really helped. I tried the Paleo thing, it works to an extent but then while I try to follow it, I still throw in the extra carbs if I need it. I'm not super strict about diets but I do care whether they make you feel at least a little bit better and look it too!

I also booked myself in for a deep tissue massage the other day. Yeah, I needed a tiny woman pummeling me! She was teeny! But pretty volatile with her massage strokes. The grunting on her part were hilarious. That being said, she managed to rid a lot of tension in my body which obviously worked because some dear lady at work commented on how relaxed and good I looked. Not sure if it was my outfit or if she meant my tension, but I appreciated the gesture! I can see why people go for sport massage. Deep tissue and sports massages are great and it's always nice to treat yourself to some pain for 45 minutes on a Sunday!

I'm a bit knackered now but I'll write another post on wrapping up the rugby refereeing season soon. By the way, a lovely article was written about me by Girl Talk HQ. I loved it, I did, but I need to reiterate I'm a rugby referee, not a soccer one! And as my man Nigel Owens has said before, "this is not soccer!" God, I love his beautiful Welsh accent, makes the hills come alive! Okay I think it's been a long day, I better get to sleep before sounding like a crazy lunatic!

Mui xxx

My Year and Other Bites of My Life

My year. And more.

The year 2014 has already come to an end an it's been a weird journey filled with Highlights and definite lowlights. I've made friends, I've gained experience (maybe) but I've also lost. But hey, what's others loss is another's gain, I suppose. 

I've struggled a lot this year with accepting who I am and what defines me. It's taken trials and tribulations to realize that life is not a bunch of roses and hard work needs to happen to make things (positive) happen. I'm so afraid of failure (which is ironic) that sometimes I block all that is bad in the world and focus on the good things. It's a good stance for some situations, but certainly not all. It can take one step forward towards positivity, but ten steps back to negativity and that's something that definitely sucks. But hey, that's life...only took 22 years to discover that. 

I've been abundantly blessed to be connected social media and a part of the ichthyosis community. I was so frightfully nervous about opening up about my ichthyosis on Facebook because I've tended to use Facey as a platform for my hang ups and unhappiness at the world.  But I've realised that through forums and such like, there are plenty of people in the same boat as I am, and that it's okay to ask for advice from others regarding lifestyle and skin care. And I've realised, now, that ichthyosis is just another thing that makes us unique in who we are. It's like a community of people or shall I say sufferers who bumble along together and that no question is too simple or difficult because as they sing in that dreaded High School Musical song, "We're all in this together!"  

I've been fortunate enough to get back in touch with Hunter Steinitz and her daddy which has been so good! And with the beauty of iMessage on our iPhones, we are able to message more regularly and if time allows, even a sneaky FaceTime session. I've also gotten to get to know Stephanie better and even though speaking is an obstacle...(try a deep Southern accent vs a British one...it's hard!) we've recently started chatting on iMessage as well. So here's a callout, if anyone fancies having a hot and smokin' British Chinese Harlequin kiddo in their iMessages, let me know :-D

And come what may, maybe my skincare will continue to improve as I find things on the internet to try out. For example, have you ever thought household bleach in the bath could actually help combat skin odours, especially with ichthyosis skin buildup?! Well I didn't and thought it was a crazy idea but hey you don't know till you try right... I was all set to swear when that bleach bottle was opened tonight but funnily enough with hot water and a dash of bath gel, (I use Adidas Sports wash for men, by the way, it goes pretty deep into my skin and I like the deep ocean scent. Each to their own!) the bleach doesn't cause such a "oh mother f*ck" type of reaction. In fact, when I did it tonight, I was able to scrub off large and small flecks of skin leaving me with a moderately scale-less body, bar the feet which I'll tackle with, using an electronic foot file which I'll buy later on. damn, the skin under ones feet can really build up and is super painful even if you soak it. Time to try new methods. And experiment!

You may be shocked, but, dun dun dun, I've been reading a book. I mean A BOOK! Well I was reading the Daily Mail online as one does in the morning when I came across an article about twins, Sam and Anais who found eacother through social media, quite by chance and luck. Having been separated and given up for adoption at birth and raised in two completely different parts of the world, it's like a real life version of Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap. Having read articles and watched interviews of them, I was intrigued when I saw there was a book published called Separated @Birth, a love story of twins reunited. Though I was born in Hong Kong and not South Korea, I felt compelled to read a book, not just about twins finding each other after 26 years, but about the topic of adoption as well. I would think by now, all of you know that bit about me :-) The book has me thinking a lot about my own self and I'd highly recommend it for anyone to read, it's not everyday twins find each other via YouTube! And somehow I doubt I'm a twin! Here is an Instagram shot of my copy! Ignore the emails and free spirit keyboard cover :D

I've skirted around the subject of adoption for a while and while I have been abundantly blessed with a good life, even if I may cause more drama in time (I was a born drama queen!), I've been thinking more about the situation surrounding my own adoption. What if what we know now has been fabricated. There are tons of "what if" thoughts and what if it was a regretful mistake on the biological parents part. Of course I'm being paranoid, but there is sometimes a longing to find out whatever you can, surrounding your physical existence. For example, how alike are we?! Are there hereditary medical conditions (apart from Ichthyosis) that I should know about?! Why, (and I mean more like, WHY THE HELL) did you,choose to bring a child into the world, only to relinquish your rights?! How did you feel?! Do you still think about the child you gave up?! Does my biological mother have massive boobs like me?!(sorry, needed some humour in this!)

All these questions can race around in an adoptee's mind but for the most part, the most important thing is to know that what one set of parents lost, was another set of parents' gain. And I wouldn't be sitting here writing this blog otherwise.

This sounds awfully morbid and self loathing, so swiftly I move on to more exciting moments of my year. 

Rugby refereeing is still happening and it's keeping me on my wee toes. I love being on the pitch and being the boss. I've now got an awesome mentor who I can discuss my games with and hopefully with the new changes, I'll be able to progress up the HK refereeing ladder. My dream is to make it as high as I possibly can, though it's a tough hill to climb, I hope to make to World Rugby (Previously IRB) level. But first I need to make to past ARFU and that in itself is a challenge I'm willing to hit right on the head, come what may. I'll be running touch again at the 2015 New Years Day Tournament, running with the U12 girls. Though New Years Eve might be a bit of a wrecking ball for me, New Years Day is a pretty big thing for me to even make the squad. So that's on my agenda and I'm so determined to be the one in the middle soon. Plus I do hope to avoid a repeat of last years' knee saga. I now know that my knee has started to rub against bone on bone, so I just need to be more careful and bind up...that should be it...right?!

The weather in Hong Kong has been frightfully nippy with temperatures down to 10 degrees Celsius at times. Truthfully, I adore it because I can accomplish so much more that when it's hot and humid. But let me tell you, Hong Kong is a sub tropical city and cold winters are nobody's friends here. The funniest thing for me is when I see people on the train in the morning, wrapped up like Eskimos when in truth, outside is only 18 degrees Celsius. Some people have the mentality of, if it's metaphorically winter, the massive North Face jacket will come out! Luckily, through 3 years of good work, I've managed to condition my body to withstand cold temperatures while wearing shorts and just a hoodie. I've been called crazy before! After all, I've refereed in Baltic conditions (and by Baltic, I mean 10 degrees) wearing nothing but my shorts and shirt and polyester socks, come rain or sun, so I'm quite happy to trudge around in shorts and a hoodie because that's what I'm comfortable in, most of the time. I do wrap up for work though, there are certainly dress codes! I've been stared at before, I've been told to put more clothes on, but the fact of the matter is, I adore winters in Hong Kong, cold days, short daylight hours, ability to,push myself harder at my sporting activities, it's great!

And did I mention I've just turned 22 this year?! Sh*t is about to get real???or won't it?!

I pray and hope that 2015 brings you peace and love. With lots of kisses,

The IchthyRef xoxo

I know...I have friends!!! Meet two of 'em...Bryan and Graziey!!